How to Get Your Partner Onboard... Literally

Respect, Understanding, and Making the Case for Liveaboard Life
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5
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The most important part of living aboard isn’t the boat—it’s the partnership that makes the journey possible.

You’re pretty set on liveaboard life, but there’s one major catch: your partner isn’t quite on board. Maybe they’re hesitant, skeptical, or outright resistant. That is perfectly okay. Moving to a liveaboard lifestyle is a big decision, and like any major life change, it comes with valid fears and uncertainties.

It's almost never a good idea to pressure your significant other into agreeing on anything. So when considering this topic, it's especially important to respect their perspective, understand their concerns, and make an equally thoughtful case for this extraordinary way of life.

Here is how to navigate the conversation with empathy and collaboration.

1. Understand Their Fears and Validate Them

The first step is to listen deeply. Most fears about living aboard are rooted in genuine concerns, not negativity. Whether it is financial insecurity, safety worries, or apprehension about giving up land-based comforts, your partner’s fears are valid and deserve to be taken seriously.

  • Ask thoughtful questions: “What excites you about this idea? What feels scary or overwhelming?”
  • Validate their emotions: Instead of brushing off their concerns, show understanding. Say things like, “I can see why you would feel that way,” or “That is a really important point to consider.”

When your partner feels heard, they are more likely to engage in the conversation rather than shutting it down.

2. Address Common Fears With Empathy and Solutions

Once you have identified their worries, take a collaborative approach to addressing them. Here is how to reframe and resolve some of the most common fears:

Safety Concerns

  • Validation: “Storms and rough weather are a natural fear. Even experienced sailors feel nervous at times.”
  • Solution: Invest in safety training, reliable equipment, and navigation tools. Share stories of liveaboards who have successfully navigated challenging conditions with preparation.

Financial Insecurity

  • Validation: “It is true that buying and maintaining a boat is not cheap, and unexpected costs can come up.”
  • Solution: Work together to create a budget. Include emergency savings and realistic estimates for repairs to avoid surprises. Highlight the financial freedom that can come from downsizing and simplifying life.

Space Limitations

  • Validation: “Living in close quarters can be a big adjustment. I get why that might feel overwhelming.”
  • Solution: Discuss ways to create personal space onboard and the joys of minimalism. Show examples of creative storage solutions and how others have made their boats feel like home.

Social Isolation

  • Validation: “Feeling disconnected from friends and family is a real concern, especially if we are traveling.”
  • Solution: Highlight vibrant marina communities, cruiser networks, and opportunities to meet like-minded people. Discuss how technology can keep you connected to loved ones.

By offering actionable solutions, you show your partner that these fears are not roadblocks. They are challenges you can navigate together.

3. Reframe the Lifestyle Around Their Values

To truly get your partner onboard, the vision for boat life must resonate with them. Tailor your conversation to reflect their priorities and interests.

  • If they value stability, emphasize that living aboard does not have to mean constant movement. Some liveaboards stay at marinas or in one region for years.
  • If they are eco-conscious, highlight how boat life can reduce your environmental footprint with solar power, rainwater collection, and sustainable practices.
  • If they love learning, mention the new skills they will acquire, from navigation to maintenance to weather forecasting.

Speak to their values, not just yours, and show how this lifestyle can align with what they care about most.

4. Suggest a Low-Stakes Trial Run

One of the best ways to ease fears is to test the waters, literally. A trial run lets your partner experience the joys of boat life without the pressure of full commitment.

  • Rent a boat for a weekend or a short vacation.
  • Take sailing lessons together to build confidence and skills.
  • Explore part-time liveaboard options before diving into full-time life.

This gradual approach can help your partner envision themselves in the lifestyle and ease into the idea at their own pace.

5. Inspire With Stories and Possibilities

Sometimes the best way to overcome fear is through inspiration. Share stories of other liveaboards who started out hesitant but fell in love with the lifestyle. Choose examples that reflect your partner’s interests, such as families, solo adventurers, or couples who have thrived on the water.

Frame the lifestyle as an opportunity, not a sacrifice. Instead of focusing on what you are leaving behind, talk about what you are gaining:

  • Waking up to stunning sunrises.
  • Exploring remote places most people only dream of.
  • Building a simpler, more intentional life.

6. Collaborate, Do Not Persuade

This decision is too big for one partner to make unilaterally. Approach the conversation as a collaboration rather than a sales pitch.

  • Be patient: Give them time to process the idea and address their concerns.
  • Be flexible: Consider alternatives, like part-time liveaboard life or a seasonal approach, that could work for both of you.

By involving your partner in every step of the decision-making process, you ensure the lifestyle feels like a shared dream, not just your dream.

7. Keep the Big Picture in Mind

At the end of the day, the most important part of liveaboard life is not the boat. It is the partnership that makes the journey possible. Focus on the life you want to create together and how this lifestyle can strengthen your bond.

  • Message: “This is not just about living on a boat. It is about embracing a life filled with freedom, adventure, and connection. I want us to dream and grow together, and I believe we can make this work.”

Here's to team liveaboard! 🥂

Published on:
December 1, 2024
Written by:
Jessica Depatie is the founder of The Helm. As a documentary producer, sailor, and writer, she explores alternative lifestyles, sustainability, and intentional living.
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